Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
