Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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