I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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