After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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