Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
