Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
