I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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