Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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