she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
they're like a gay fantastic four
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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