I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
