I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
