She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
