Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
