I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
