i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
