Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
