No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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