I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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