If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
