dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
