Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
