the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
