bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
