this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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