If that was your dad, he is hot
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
