does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
