I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
