What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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