You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
