dude i'm inner monologue high
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
