i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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