take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
