Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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