Moan for me like Helen Keller
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
