Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
