She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
