There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
