It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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