love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
