What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
