I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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