i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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