singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
