I look better un-naked...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
