she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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