What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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