Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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