using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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