If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
NoShamevember. You game?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
