im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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